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Nov. 10th, 2005

Mind Opened, Rain

I should go to bed...

Yup, Photoshop strikes again. I should be writing an updated "User Info" page but instead I keep slipping back into Photoshop's safe warm embrace. This is an old picture taken last year, just before Christmas.

Oct. 11th, 2005


Good News!!

Got my biopsy results back late this morning. I am cancer free! And I must say that the people I work with are the greatest in the world, I never felt so much love as when I told them the good news!!

Oct. 9th, 2005

Water Mind

Tangled Up & Lost

My life is a large ball of tangled, unwound yarn. I can't find the ends to even start sorting out the mess. The knots I think I've worked though come back as soon I move on to the next. I pull and tug here and there get no where.

I've been avoiding my journal. I didn't want to just lay out the current details of my life like a grocery list, but I can't find the words to tell them with more finesse. One way or another I can't hold them in anyhow. I need to get them out, step back and take a good look. Maybe it will help me find a little clarity.

The farm is no more, I let it all go. I moved to the city and got a roommate. The man I loved and lived with for the last 8 years lives across the city. Now just a good friend and no more. Tomorrow morning before work I'll call the doctor and see if the lump in my breast is cancerous.

Jul. 4th, 2005

Wink Tongue

On A Serious Note

Who knew berries grew on trees?

Took this picture standing under a tree in my yard today. When we first moved in the owner told me what kind of tree this was... yep I forgot. But the dark black ones taste really good. :D

edit 7/5/05 9:05PM: changed to full sized to get rid of the weird pixilation problem
Sky Blur Mind

Trying to Regain My Balance

Ever have somebody grab you suddenly in a rough, tackle sorta hug? You stagger back shocked at first, trying to regain your balance. Then laugh as they crush your ribcage in a fierce "Love you to death!" squeeze. I sure hope so cause it's one of those feelings you gotta experience at least once.

Life can do that to you. Suddenly outa the blue it hits you... WHAM! You've got more than you can handle! For a while you stagger around trying to regain your balance and perspective. This is when you make your mind up about how you will cope. Will you fight the change, try to re-adjust the load and keep going as before or will you accept the change and live differently?

I think I'm at the point right now where I'm trying to regain my balance. I need to decide if I fight to keep things as they are or accept the change...

I was just finishing the post above when Audioslave's new song Yesterday To Tomorrow came on. Making out some of the words it sounded eerily familiar so I looked them up...

Yesterday To Tomorrow

Beauty is what the eyes behold
And you burn brighter than most
I chased you thru the midnight streets
To be where I could speak freely
I didn’t care what tomorrow held
I felt the world turning only for us
Only bliss now for you and me
Rise up let life’s kiss send us reeling
And unlike the times before
From yesterday comes tomorrow
When life comes alive the past moves aside
No regrets and no remorse
We have more than everything
More than man or machine
More than luck
More than fiction
Higher than any religion

And unlike the times before
From yesterday comes tomorrow
When life comes alive the past moves aside
No regrets and no remorse
We’ll squeeze the blood out of life
And say goodnight to the silver of old
Even when wrong we’re right
Far beyond the world of diamonds and gold
I’ve come to realize
Where happiness lies
I want you to know I know
And unlike the times before
When life comes alive the past moves aside
No regrets no remorse

Summer Colors

Happy Independence Day my friends!!


Jul. 2nd, 2005


A River of Brake Lights

My words are in a traffic jam, everyone wants out at the same time and all that's making it by is a confused trickle.

Jul. 1st, 2005

Night Creature Mind

Me Pagan? No way!

Stolen outright from debutantezig - Just in case all my tree hugging ways didn't give it away... ;) Next question. How long till the next fertility orgy ceremony?

You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion.




















Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

May. 24th, 2005

Romantic Mind

Bad Girl Thoughts*

    Ever think about how often you push the real you down, hiding him/her deep inside? How often is your first instinct to say or do something but you hold back? Do you do it so often that you've lost track of what you really want out of life? Yeah, why do we do that? I mean I understand that doing exactly what you want is seldom acceptable or appropriate in our world. But what about taking those feelings out and just looking at them. Asking why do I feel this way and think about what makes you want the things you do. Instead thinking how wrong or unacceptable a feeling is, how about accepting it, learning a little something about yourself and taking another step forward in life.

    *Thoughts springing from a conversation with a friend at work and Audioslave's new song.

    Be YourselfCollapse )

May. 21st, 2005

Warrior Mind 2


WOW! Beat the hell out of I & II by far. Graphics were fucking awesome! The acting still not anywhere near original movies (think cheesy) but the story still came across well. And yes - I cried ;)

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